Monday, 28 April 2008
Wall Planners and Conveyor Belts
So right now the dot I should be following is Red, now Red means that I should be spending time on my dissertation....but right now it actually means I should be completing my unfinished and unhanded in Professional Journalism work....but we ran out of coloured dots.
In the Blue Corner we have, 'Library Time', whenever a blue spot is in sight then I must be in the Library researching, reading, writing and the like. Representing always lowering prices...we have the green, no i don't have to be at my Eco-Warrior cult meeting when this coloured dot creeps up, it's there to represent my money, the dosh and dollar. It is there to remind me of my time well spent in ASDA, conveyor belt dreams, suicidal thoughts, ASDA Radio 'text in competitions' and being on the receiving end of chat up lines from foreign men, "I like you eyes, I fancy yousssse".
Cue an extract from my first day back at the delightful Perry Barr ASDA store, at the start of last week. The old bill were in on three separate occasions, and not one or two, a gang, with bullet proof vests on show and radio talk, alpha...over...receiving?
I then get yet another very forward advance on me and my eyes.
I also ask a very hairy man, as I do EVERY CUSTOMER I SERVE ,if he would like help with his packing, after him staring at me blankly and me repeating myself several times he finally opens his trap, making me look an idiot to surrounding customers and staff, "I don't know English".
Then one of the checkout girls behind me, I say girl, I mean grandma, she's pushed past 50 and is trailer trash, so blates has a No1 Grandma chain in her jewellery collection, yeah get me?
Well said colleague bellows from behind me, "I'm from Handsworth mate if you wanna know where I'm from...yeah fucking have that and go piss off...go on, get out piss off you twat."
I then hear a man passing my till, "Shut up you fucking fat bitch!"
"Nobrash!", replies Gran who then gets the last word in too "Fuck off you Bastard."
Then a drunken black man in a nice hat, at the top of his lungs, adds, "God is Black!" however, this was on a separate occasion, but still adds to the madness.
This is where I work. the wall planner says the next shift is this Sunday, theres a green dot there.
Ive touched lightly on Red, but dissertation is a dirty word so I won't continue.
Orange is Production Project, now that's a whole different ball game, I'll save that for when I get used to using InDesign again, so I can then design and create a 20 page 'eco' publication.
Purple is Uni.
I quite like the colour purple because its not on the Wall Planner alot.
I like the next one even more,
Yellow.
Oh yellow, my favourite colour and the key to 'Me Time'.
Except my favourite of the Wall Planner pallet doesn't appear all that often, and the trouble with that is,
it sticks out the most.
Wall Planner, Wall Planner on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
In the Blue Corner we have, 'Library Time', whenever a blue spot is in sight then I must be in the Library researching, reading, writing and the like. Representing always lowering prices...we have the green, no i don't have to be at my Eco-Warrior cult meeting when this coloured dot creeps up, it's there to represent my money, the dosh and dollar. It is there to remind me of my time well spent in ASDA, conveyor belt dreams, suicidal thoughts, ASDA Radio 'text in competitions' and being on the receiving end of chat up lines from foreign men, "I like you eyes, I fancy yousssse".
Cue an extract from my first day back at the delightful Perry Barr ASDA store, at the start of last week. The old bill were in on three separate occasions, and not one or two, a gang, with bullet proof vests on show and radio talk, alpha...over...receiving?
I then get yet another very forward advance on me and my eyes.
I also ask a very hairy man, as I do EVERY CUSTOMER I SERVE ,if he would like help with his packing, after him staring at me blankly and me repeating myself several times he finally opens his trap, making me look an idiot to surrounding customers and staff, "I don't know English".
Then one of the checkout girls behind me, I say girl, I mean grandma, she's pushed past 50 and is trailer trash, so blates has a No1 Grandma chain in her jewellery collection, yeah get me?
Well said colleague bellows from behind me, "I'm from Handsworth mate if you wanna know where I'm from...yeah fucking have that and go piss off...go on, get out piss off you twat."
I then hear a man passing my till, "Shut up you fucking fat bitch!"
"Nobrash!", replies Gran who then gets the last word in too "Fuck off you Bastard."
Then a drunken black man in a nice hat, at the top of his lungs, adds, "God is Black!" however, this was on a separate occasion, but still adds to the madness.
This is where I work. the wall planner says the next shift is this Sunday, theres a green dot there.
Ive touched lightly on Red, but dissertation is a dirty word so I won't continue.
Orange is Production Project, now that's a whole different ball game, I'll save that for when I get used to using InDesign again, so I can then design and create a 20 page 'eco' publication.
Purple is Uni.
I quite like the colour purple because its not on the Wall Planner alot.
I like the next one even more,
Yellow.
Oh yellow, my favourite colour and the key to 'Me Time'.
Except my favourite of the Wall Planner pallet doesn't appear all that often, and the trouble with that is,
it sticks out the most.
Wall Planner, Wall Planner on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
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